TODAY, TONIGHT, BEFORE TOMORROW…

Sure I didn’t cry because I was in grief. No, my tears rolled more from a heart plagued by an implacable guilt. Guilt is certainly stronger than grief, and when it is a combo you sure need prayers to come out sane. This is what happened when my grand ma died, actually she had called me requesting to see me...”Ladi come quick oh…I want to see you oh” were her exact words. “Okay Nma next week I will come to Port Harcourt”. It wouldn’t have cost me anything to catch the next available flight to go and see her; the biggest shame was I had no plans of going that next weekend that I promised. I just sort of blurted it out. What was I doing in Lagos that weekend? I bet you need not know; else you would come after me with her koboko. Trust me I had a good dish form her lashes while growing up. In fairness to me, my granny was very gisty, she always holds me down with her gist, I don’t like rushing her, I sure need a whole day to spend with her not just hours. Even after spending those hours, it seemed to both of us that I had barely sat down. So the questions flooded my mind, but why didn’t she tell? What was really up on her mind to say?

I remember when a friend of mine lost her dad in the 2005 plane crash, and she, like me, was plagued by guilt, “I never told him how much I loved him” she kept of crying.

There was this poll that was carried out at the old people’s home, and they asked the old people, “what would they have done differently?” guess what? There was a common denominator to their answers; it was either they could have loved more, or taken more risk, or started that business, or changed that location…or something. Most of them waited all their lives for the right opportunities; they never understood that in life you create the opportunities that lead you into finding bigger opportunities. They faced the facts and not the possibilities of life. Their minds became victims of their environment, and their imagination became imprisoned, rather than empower them out of their limitations. Most of them laid down their dreams for safe path, and just when they decided that it was the right time, it was too late. Life is a script and you and I still have an ample time to write ours. Why not make yours interesting, intrigues, and bounce back after a knock out, punch drunk but still standing? Helen Keller was right when she said “life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.

“Now Ferdy, it is very unfair to be sharing about things like this weekend”, I know someone is thinking, but this is exactly why I am sharing this. I know death is not the worst that can happen to a man, I know that death really does not exist, and that the soul lives forever, I know our lives is measured by donation and not duration, I know death is only a change of location and not a termination, I know our lifetime is a dress rehearsal and is only a tiny speck of eternity. But it does hurt to lose someone dear and near, many times they are irreplaceable, but never having them is unimaginable.

Here is what I think, some day we hope; to tell someone we love them, to grow up and change, to do better at our job, to be better in our relationships, to love again, to trust again, to forgive again, that day might be soon, it might be tomorrow, but why not make it today, tonight, before tomorrow. As you groove this weekend, stop being tentative, make that change, take that risk, launch that idea, ask that question, express your love, forgive someone, and take someone out on a lunch, send that text message right away, make that call right now, go to the studio now, start writing that book now, plan that trip now, throw in the olive branch and not the towel, register to vote today, fix that appointment with that doctor today, call your financial adviser now….propose….now..Okay not so fast! Seize the day; don’t wait for your ship to come to you swim to your ship; give up on your regrets. But why not do something today, tonight, before tomorrow?

Be present. Make your presence felt in the lives of those God has placed around you. This is what life is about. Give up this living for self philosophy. It is not how much money we have, but how much love we gave. It is not how many houses we built, but how many souls we were able to give support in their times of need. I think love is that condition in which somebody’s happiness becomes essential to our own. Why don’t you decide to put a smile on someone’s face today? As for me, love will always be a part of my live. I am passionate about living life to the full without allowing what some pathetic bunch people, who didn’t know any better said or did to jeopardize my life. Like it is said, we come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. It is not something in them, but something in us and drives us.
Think for a moment, why will there be the word ‘forgiveness’ if there won’t be need for it, and where best should it be used than in a place where love exist. Really when there is love there is a potential for hurt and resentment, but there is a potential for healing as much. We have fragmented the definition of love, to endless love, great love, patient love, what else? But real long is a complete package, it is all tough, great and patient at the same time, and it is able to forgive when there is need for one. Really to love is to receive glimpses of heaven, it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eyes. You can send gifts but you the only true gift are a portion of yourself, your time, your love, your ears, and your broken/healed hearts. The only remedy for love is to love more. Do it, let it be today, tonight before tomorrow. What do you think?