WHAT'S YOUR PERSPECTIVE?

Did the meltdown make you lose your to-die-for-job with all the impeccable pecks and benefits that came with it? Huh! Maybe you broke up with that potential hot (or should I say cool) spouse, when you thought the altar was your next destination, and you were fast approaching age…30, right? (You know getting a good one can be like searching for a needle in a haystack, pele). No, maybe yours was losing that brand new ride that kept you on the top ten gossip list for 3 months? I suspect it is the Omonile who duped you what was left of your tumbled and crumbled investments in stocks, for that land you so wanted to buy, right? Well, if none of these, then for a moment, think about the grueling traffic one has to face on a day to day basis, sometimes it is a miracle to stay motivated and survive.

The past few months have been incredibly challenging for most people. It has been for me as well. It was like I was hitched on some kind of hurricane. No sooner had I survived one than another took me by surprise in quick succession. I was like a drowning man at the time, except that I was not in water. The walls had caved in, but the only difference was that I was not in a cave. I was in my meltdown (I can’t tell you if it is over though). Every day, the mere thought of facing the day leaves me not only exasperated but slightly depressed. I always had a grouse that some of our life’s challenges can be senseless tragedy. I somehow managed to pray and believe, but somehow nothing changed. Like Mother Theresa said “Hope Father doesn’t trust us so much as to give us trials beyond our capacity?”
What life has taught me, if it has taught me anything at all, is that God will not stop life from happening to us; he only gets us through life. A couple of months ago, I wrote about a note on Facebook, of how God uses adversity to heighten our sensitivity to build character in us, to bring wisdom to the not too wise, to strengthen the weak, to fortify our faith. This is what I am expanding in this piece. Life is all about playing with the game that fate dealt with you. It is never too much about punishment but about learning as we go through life.

Let’s face it, sometimes the greatest problems we face are not the very issues, but the perspective we hold about them. Often times our poor perspectives make our adversities self-inflicting and bring us needless battles. On the other hand, our apathy, our inflexibilities, our insensitivities, and our prayerlessness our spiritual anorexia brings us into crisis. Sure Father knows us more than we do know of ourselves. I had set my expectations for myself and when I failed to meet those expectations; I became disappointed and foisted same disappointments on God. Truly, God never fails, only humans fail in their false expectations of God. In the first place, He doesn’t just exit to answer our prayers, but by our prayer we come to discern the mind of God. In the letter to Colossians, 9 verse of the first chapter, Paul said, “…do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of God’s will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” The significance of prayer is not give to God, our list of wants and needs; that is not wrong in itself, but it places limit on the benefits we can tap from prayers. The whole significance of prayer is that we get hold of the mind of God and that understanding becomes the answer to prayer. It is true that prayer changes things, but most of all prayer changes me and I change things. Again for emphasis sake, the greatest answer to prayer becomes that my perspective is brought into a perfect understanding with God and that alters my views of actual things. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus said, “Let your will be done; let your kingdom come”, before He said, “Give us this day our daily bread”. We have sort of reversed this; I believe if God’s will is done in our lives, our wants and needs, will fizzle out automatically. This helped me, though my circumstances haven’t changed much, my views of them have.

God is sovereign and is not obliged to use our strategies to meet our needs. God is not easily manipulated by our tears; follow the principles. Save yourself the heartaches and wait on Him for his strategy. We impoverish God in our mind when limit him with out mind. God is not as much interested in our whining as he is of our character. God’s goal is beyond money and trappings of wealth, rather he wants us to become like Christ. Though he cares about our comfort and well being, He values our character more than our comfort and convenience. God does not waste a hurt; there is always a purpose to our crisis. Many times, it is to bring about a paradigm and perspective shift in us. But I prayed, I believed, so what went wrong? Why is life so unfair?

I penned this words a couple of months ago. “I think life can become unfair when we choose to focus on what we don’t have, and let them prevent us from making the most of the little we have. I think life can become unfair when we run a marathon like a 100m dash, and become busted and exhausted, rather than taking the race of life at the pace that is uniquely ours, as to guarantee we arrive alive. I think life can become unfair when we fail to see challenges for what they really are-stepping stones-and see them for what they are not-stumbling blocks. For challenges are not meant to frail us but to firm us. I think life can become unfair when we magnify our problems rather than our God, who can solve the problems. Most of our failures are failures of faith. I think life can become unfair when we choose to see only those who have better living conditions than we do, and forget to see those who have worse living conditions than we have. I think life can become unfair when we focus on those who hurt us, and forget that they are human, and have the tendency to err, while it’s ours to forgive and love again. I think life can be unfair, when we try to set God’s time with our clock rather than set our clock to God’s time.” For He makes all things beautiful in His time, in His time the job will come, the love will come, the child will come, and all you need are already set for an appointed time.”

Now have I stopped believing? Never! Have I stopped praying? Not anytime soon. Have I quit? At least not yet! Challenges are inevitable in life, but misery is optional. The whole essence of this piece is to help us separate what is necessary and what is not in the crisis we face. If you are feeling like I felt, just maybe think about these perspectives. The advantage of speaking in tongues is simply to enable Gods mind bye-pass our mental limitations, but creating a new band width that can get us through the tickling of our limited minds and communicate his will to us.

Love you!

TODAY, TONIGHT, BEFORE TOMORROW…

Sure I didn’t cry because I was in grief. No, my tears rolled more from a heart plagued by an implacable guilt. Guilt is certainly stronger than grief, and when it is a combo you sure need prayers to come out sane. This is what happened when my grand ma died, actually she had called me requesting to see me...”Ladi come quick oh…I want to see you oh” were her exact words. “Okay Nma next week I will come to Port Harcourt”. It wouldn’t have cost me anything to catch the next available flight to go and see her; the biggest shame was I had no plans of going that next weekend that I promised. I just sort of blurted it out. What was I doing in Lagos that weekend? I bet you need not know; else you would come after me with her koboko. Trust me I had a good dish form her lashes while growing up. In fairness to me, my granny was very gisty, she always holds me down with her gist, I don’t like rushing her, I sure need a whole day to spend with her not just hours. Even after spending those hours, it seemed to both of us that I had barely sat down. So the questions flooded my mind, but why didn’t she tell? What was really up on her mind to say?

I remember when a friend of mine lost her dad in the 2005 plane crash, and she, like me, was plagued by guilt, “I never told him how much I loved him” she kept of crying.

There was this poll that was carried out at the old people’s home, and they asked the old people, “what would they have done differently?” guess what? There was a common denominator to their answers; it was either they could have loved more, or taken more risk, or started that business, or changed that location…or something. Most of them waited all their lives for the right opportunities; they never understood that in life you create the opportunities that lead you into finding bigger opportunities. They faced the facts and not the possibilities of life. Their minds became victims of their environment, and their imagination became imprisoned, rather than empower them out of their limitations. Most of them laid down their dreams for safe path, and just when they decided that it was the right time, it was too late. Life is a script and you and I still have an ample time to write ours. Why not make yours interesting, intrigues, and bounce back after a knock out, punch drunk but still standing? Helen Keller was right when she said “life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.

“Now Ferdy, it is very unfair to be sharing about things like this weekend”, I know someone is thinking, but this is exactly why I am sharing this. I know death is not the worst that can happen to a man, I know that death really does not exist, and that the soul lives forever, I know our lives is measured by donation and not duration, I know death is only a change of location and not a termination, I know our lifetime is a dress rehearsal and is only a tiny speck of eternity. But it does hurt to lose someone dear and near, many times they are irreplaceable, but never having them is unimaginable.

Here is what I think, some day we hope; to tell someone we love them, to grow up and change, to do better at our job, to be better in our relationships, to love again, to trust again, to forgive again, that day might be soon, it might be tomorrow, but why not make it today, tonight, before tomorrow. As you groove this weekend, stop being tentative, make that change, take that risk, launch that idea, ask that question, express your love, forgive someone, and take someone out on a lunch, send that text message right away, make that call right now, go to the studio now, start writing that book now, plan that trip now, throw in the olive branch and not the towel, register to vote today, fix that appointment with that doctor today, call your financial adviser now….propose….now..Okay not so fast! Seize the day; don’t wait for your ship to come to you swim to your ship; give up on your regrets. But why not do something today, tonight, before tomorrow?

Be present. Make your presence felt in the lives of those God has placed around you. This is what life is about. Give up this living for self philosophy. It is not how much money we have, but how much love we gave. It is not how many houses we built, but how many souls we were able to give support in their times of need. I think love is that condition in which somebody’s happiness becomes essential to our own. Why don’t you decide to put a smile on someone’s face today? As for me, love will always be a part of my live. I am passionate about living life to the full without allowing what some pathetic bunch people, who didn’t know any better said or did to jeopardize my life. Like it is said, we come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. It is not something in them, but something in us and drives us.
Think for a moment, why will there be the word ‘forgiveness’ if there won’t be need for it, and where best should it be used than in a place where love exist. Really when there is love there is a potential for hurt and resentment, but there is a potential for healing as much. We have fragmented the definition of love, to endless love, great love, patient love, what else? But real long is a complete package, it is all tough, great and patient at the same time, and it is able to forgive when there is need for one. Really to love is to receive glimpses of heaven, it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eyes. You can send gifts but you the only true gift are a portion of yourself, your time, your love, your ears, and your broken/healed hearts. The only remedy for love is to love more. Do it, let it be today, tonight before tomorrow. What do you think?

ART OF STRATEGY

Mighty oaks have fallen in the wind but a blade of grass can weather any storm

Some years back, I was playing a game of chess with my elder sister and she got upset when I was spending so much time calculating my next moves। I remember dad had threatened us, when he mentioned that it could take up to a year for professional players in Scotland to finish up, taking breaks and returning to the game. My sister would not have any of that, “get going or I quit” she screamed.

“I didn’t ask you not too think hard।” I retorted. I always have to look at both directions at once, evaluate every possible permutation, and think how to do it and how not to do it. She didn’t get it. It was not always against my opponent but against my last moves. I don’t always struggle to outwit her but my very self. She didn’t understand why I felt happy even when I lost, and why learning was more important than winning to me. Unlike me, she would mock, chide and berate you when she wins. She was our teacher, but now her students are competing too hard and it was beginning to outwit her, and her ego didn’t have the requisite patience to handle that. Truth is, sometimes life is like a game, and we are either players or pawns. The patient weak will always conquer the impatient strong.

Empires, structures, systems, institutions, businesses, ideas and concepts exist on three steps on a ladder i।e. survival, success or at the level of significance. However, the differentiating and determining factor in their levels of existence on this ladder, (or in the 21st century market space) is not in the content or the nobility of their ideas, or strength of their biceps but in their strategies and execution methodologies. Strategies will be the platform or an albatross to build or flaw any idea or institution.

There are a lot of people that know what to do but not how to do it; there is a good number that knows how to do it but not what to do। They would rather imitate – failing to find their own originality। Many people know what to do but few do what they know. Strategy keeps you ahead of 90% of your peers who yield to chance. Strategy, like a brand, is unique, ingenuous, functional, creative and radically different. Nigeria’s Vision 2020, as nicely branded as it has become, still falters on the absence of sound strategy. Until we develop a sound strategy, we are only building castles in the air. There are many corporations in need of deep thinkers, strategists and people who can launch into the deep to catch the big fishes that are never caught in the shallow terrains. Corporations are seeking people who will ask questions such as; how can we increase in crisis? How can we do it better and differently? What is the opportunity in this problem? Why use vinegar to catch a few flies when you can catch much with honey? Why use gold when lead will do?

Strategy is not just an artistic craft that must be perfected or a science that must be studied। It is as thoughtful as both at their best. What is the difference between the good and the great, the better and the best, motion and movement, leaders and managers, effectiveness and efficiency, noise and voice? It is strategy.

In your personal life do you have a strategy for navigating the road blocks in your life, relationship, finance, or career without creating grid blocks? Do you have a strategy for moving from where you are to where you want to be? These are leading questions that can help you understand and appreciate the art of strategy। Read on.

What is strategy?
Strategy is a plan of action designed to achieve a particular goal। In the most simple term, it is the carefully well-planned or method of doing things. Though an often overused term, strategy is easily misunderstood. It could be a potent summation of tactics commonly used mostly in the military lexicon; nonetheless it is profoundly different from tactics and applies to every area of our life. In military terms, tactics is concerned with the conduct of an engagement, while strategy is concerned with how different engagements are linked. In other words, how a battle is fought is a matter of tactics: whether it should be fought at all is a matter of strategy.

As a given, it is not the strongest of armies that win but the most strategic who understand that to win the war, you have to choose your battle, your battlefield and the time of war. On a romantic level, it is not the most handsome guy that gets the girl, but the guy with the strategic games. Same is applicable in scholarship as it is not the most intelligent student that makes a first class but the most strategic. In the corporate arena, it is not the biggest and oldest companies that will survive recession, but those who can evolve surviving and thriving strategies. When we understand that life is a battle, and that we must choose our battles and our battlefields (talking about our niche) in order to win the war, we then cannot compromise the essence of strategy development. You must understand that bigger is not necessarily better, and starting small is not the same as starting poorly. With strategy we can produce when resources are few and when the heat is on.

KNOWING WHERE TO TAP
I want to extract a few lessons from a popular story of the giant ship engine that failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools (Bag-of-Strategies, BOS) with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work... He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars."What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."The man sent a bill that read:
Tapping with a hammer..........................$ 2.00Knowing where to tap ... $ 9,998.00GRAND TOTAL ...$10,000. ००

LESSONS EXTRACTS…
“Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.”
DIG DEEP; In line with the military strategy of Napoleon Bonaparte, the right information at the right time is nine of the battle। The illiterates of the future are not those who cannot read or write, but those who cannot learn, re-learn and unlearn। If you know both yourself and your enemy, you can come out of hundreds of battles unscathed. Your mind must be sharpening before the challenge comes in order to be strengthened in war. The best art of strategy lies in your thought. Like William Summer said, “Routine men are not hard to find, but men who can think and plan and tell the routine men what to do are very rare.” Deep thinking produces deep strategies. It doesn’t just give answers, it offers solutions. The best strategies today might become the mundane of the past. Hence the need for new thinking. Albert Einstein said we cannot solve a problem at the level of thinking we were when we created them, and so we need to think wider and deeper to capture all views. You don’t have to wish for fewer problems but seek more solutions. We need deep functional thinking expertise to evolve cutting edge strategy. Worthwhile definitely!

CHOOSE YOUR NICHE; this is otherwise known as the strategy of positioning। The moon has no light of its own, but by virtue of its strategic positioning it, receives and ultimately reflects the light of the sun. When a man stands at an angle and cannot find the diameter of the circle, all he has to do is change the radius of the circle. We most position in the line of our strengths to win the war. The real voyages of discovery consist not in seeking new landscapes but in having new sights and visions. We must have that ability to see beyond our confines.

NEVER BE CAUGHT UNAWARES; this simply means be prepared and proactive. For a man who understands strategy, it is not what they do in crisis, but what they put in place before such crisis. Preparation is a way of life. The old man knew where to tap, but really, it takes hours and possibly years of strategy to succeed in seconds. You must stay on the cutting edge to be a master in your field. Don’t just know everything in your field. Know how it relates to other fields. Apply it in the diverse arena. Don’t just know a thing about your spouse but how it relates to everything that pertains to their life.
GARNER THE TOOLS; when the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem appears like a nail. Our efficiency is determined by our capacities. You must construct your bag of tools, hone your skills, build your capacity, so when you fall seven times you can rise up eight times again. But at the point of every rise, you must introduce a more advanced technological strategy that reflects the lesson from your previous challenges in life.

THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE